One year ago today, I made three public goals.
Travel to five places I have never been.
Summit a 14er with Connor.
Publish something on my blog.
Goal #1
This is the one I accomplished without any extensions, excuses, or caveats. It’s also the one I worked hardest to make happen. Funny how that works.
In February, I went to Indian Rocks Beach, Florida (1) with my college bff’s. I’ve been having adventures with these ladies since 1983.
Speaking of good friends, everyone should have one like my high school bff, Lisa. We started talking about traveling together last December. I proposed some long weekends in the winter to several cities I had never visited. She came back with, “Yeah, but what about Europe?”
Um, yes please.
We started by looking at a trip that went to Spain and Morocco, but we needed more than a week for that, and we wanted to go during Spring Break for several reasons. So, we decided on the UK, specifically, England(2) and Scotland(3). We booked it five weeks before we left through Lisa’s travel agent. We were both up to our asses in alligators at our respective jobs, so we planned nothing except the dates we were leaving and returning and a visit to my English friends, Jo and Matthew, in Farnham.
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| Jo and Matthew at the local pub, |
Except for those set items on the agenda, we literally planned the next day each evening sitting in our PJs in our hotel room. Lisa and I turned out to be great travelling companions because neither of us stressed about that strategy.
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| Not in our PJs yet, but you get the idea.🙂 |
I wouldn’t recommend doing this for every trip, but I would absolutely recommend doing something this crazy, impulsive and unplanned every now and again. It came after the two most grueling weeks I’ve had in many years of teaching, and it was like hitting the reset button. I came home and felt human again. I made decisions personally and professionally that turned my whole year around for the better.
June 16 was the second happiest day of 2022 for me.
The happiest day was September 27.
I say this without apology to my friends and family who brought me many happy days throughout the year. The people who know and love me best understand.
Late in the evening on Friday, March 25, I had just crawled into bed after spending several hours in front of my computer drafting an email that my two teammates had convinced me to sleep on before I hit send. It came after a very bad day, bad week at school. I was emotionally and mentally drained. I opened Facebook hoping to scroll mindlessly and turn my brain off before I went to sleep. Instead the first post in my feed was from the Foo Fighters telling the world that Taylor Hawkins had died. I stayed in bed all weekend.
I have never mourned someone I didn’t personally know the way I mourned Taylor. I have always loved the Foos, but in recent years, it’s become more than just garden-variety fandom. Their music got me through the trauma of my divorce and the aftermath. It echoed through my house during the pandemic. They were the only band I’d seen live 4, now 5, times. The idea that I would never see them again was heartbreaking. The idea of a world without Taylor and his smile, his overflowing positive energy, and the wild abandon of his drumming was just too much.
Getting those tickets was blind luck. I had already mentally prepared myself for disappointment. (Okay…. That’s a total lie. I was alternately bargaining with and shaking my fist at the universe.)
I got lucky. And I flew to Los Angeles, where I stayed in Santa Monica(7) and visited my first tattoo parlor (8?) in Hollywood.
It was healing. It was joyful. It was the best day of the year.
So yeah… Goal #1 achieved.
Goal #2
Not achieved, but not abandoned either. The spring being what it was, I didn’t do any real training for that 14er. I didn’t do the work. And goals don’t happen if you don’t do the work. I knew on the first day when we hiked up to Beaver Lake to acclimate me to the altitude that it wasn’t going to happen. That hike only took us a bit past 10,000 feet, and I was gasping for air. My conditioning was just fine at sea level (or at Georgetown’s 846 feet), but up where the air is thin, I struggled. Two days later, I made it to 12,000 feet with a little portable oxygen can. If I had stayed another week, I could have done it, but I didn’t have a week.
I have been preaching the gospel of growth-mindset to kids for 25 years, and I have internalized it myself. I learned from my first attempt, and I’m going to adjust accordingly. This year, I’m training for it. Nothing truly worthwhile is achieved without work. If you train the same, you stay the same or possibly decline when you factor in aging (which as we know is not for pussies). I will also spend more time acclimating to the altitude.
Goal #3
And all of this brings me back to goal #3. A year ago, I said this one was the most daunting because it requires something more of me than the other two, and here I am throwing it together on December 31. I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to get it done early in the year, and then later, I made excuses because I was afraid. Many things happened over the course of the year that were worth writing about, but a worthwhile post requires a willingness to open up and speak your truth. Otherwise, it’s just a laundry list of things that happened. I’ve been closed off for a while. Even lighthearted story ideas required more of me than I was willing to give.
This is my first attempt. I know this is just enough to say I did it. I tell my students who are struggling to start writing, “Just get words on the page. Any words. The blank page is the hardest part.”
And, of course, I am right. Physician, heal thyself.
Looking Ahead
So as I slide in just under the wire, I’m going to make public goals for 2023. Four this time.
Travel to 5 more new places. This feels like a reasonable number. I already have plane tickets sitting in my Delta app and friends who want to travel. Completion: 12/31/23
Attempt the 14er again, allowing myself grace and knowing that the mountains aren’t going anywhere. Target completion: by 10/8/23
Post at least 4 new stories on the blog. That’s one per quarter. I think I might have more than 4 in me after writing this, but recognizing how long it took me to write this one, I’m being conservative. Completion: 12/31/23.
Open myself more to people and possibilities. Life is too short to live closed off. Completion: Ongoing.
