Midlife crisis? Maybe.
Fear of appearing old? Maybe.
Too lazy to do anything besides blow it dry? Definitely.
I had a conversation with a close friend this morning before my appointment, and I asked her if my hair was getting ridiculously long “for a woman my age.” She was indignant.
“For a woman your age! NO! Meryl Streep had long hair into her sixties!”
Well, there you go. If anyone is the definitive model for appropriateness, it’s Meryl, and I’m a long way from sixty. (It might be fair to note that my indignant friend is exactly the same age as me.)
Meryl’s example notwithstanding, where is the line? At what point do I stop looking like a fun-loving woman in the prime of her life and start looking like an aging hippie or a Pentecostal matron? I’ve never identified as either a hippie or a Pentecostal, so I hope the answer to that question is never.
A better question might be at what point will long hair stop being appropriate for me and my lifestyle? Perhaps a list of pros and cons is in order.
Times when long hair is awesome:
- At a Foo Fighters concert when you want to bang your head in solidarity with Dave Grohl.
- On the dance floor when you want to wave your hands (and hair) in the air like you don’t care.
- When your bff snaps pics of everything and you don’t want your face in another pic where you’re doing something stupid.
- When you’re nervous/bored/agitated/deep-in-thought and you need something to do with your hands.
- In the winter, when your neck is cold.
- When you’re a sibling in my family. My little brother’s hair has been longer than mine since he was 18 or 19.
- When you’re riding in a convertible with the top down. It’s carefree!
Times when long hair is a pain:
- When you’re riding in a convertible with the top down. It’s a rat’s nest!
- When you close it in the door of the car. OUCH!
- When you’re brushing your teeth.
- When you’re eating a taco.
- When you’re sick. Sure, we all have a friend who will hold our hair after the party, but where are they when you have the stomach flu?
- When you’re in a fight. I’ve never actually been in one, but from what I’ve seen in the halls at school, when girls fight, they go for the hair.
The data is there. Let's break it down.
The convertible thing is a wash, and I can use a clip when brushing my teeth and eating tacos. And of course, I can wear a scarf in the winter, but then I'd close that in the car door. My hair will never give me the aura of laid-back cool my brother enjoys. So what is the answer?
Well...Since I’m not finished going to concerts and dancing and doing stupid things and since I rarely get sick and never get into fights, I think my long hair still works. And I have faith that the day I start to look like an aging hippie or a Pentecostal matron, one of my friends will tell me.
You will, right?