Why did the chicken cross the road?
RAND PAUL
Why are we questioning the chicken’s right to cross the
road? Government regulation is the only barrier that prevents the chicken from
freely crossing the road. If our nation continues in this direction, our children
and grandchildren may instead be asking: why did the chicken get blown up by a
hellfire missile?
PRESIDENT OBAMA
Tonight we come together as one nation to contemplate why
the chicken crossed the road, and we will not stop until we do so. But today, I
ask us all to step back and reflect, and I think you will see that the road
itself, like our union is strong.
Because the government built it for him.
MITCH MCCONNELL
It’s simply not my job to create opportunities to evaluate
the chicken’s crossing. There are no roads to cross anyway, but we can fix
that.
ALISON GRIMES
The chicken has had 30 years to cross the road. If I’m
elected, he’ll actually get to the other side.
FBI
We can neither confirm nor deny that the chicken crossed the
road.
STEVE JOBS
He saw opportunities and innovators on the other side. He
imagined the operating system, task bar, and interface of the future.
MILEY CYRUS
It’s not my responsibility to know why the chicken does what
it does. I’m just trying to enjoy being young and I don’t need anybody
criticizing me.
“Because he can’t stop. He won’t stop.”
KIM KARDASHIAN
Uhhhh, I’m not sure what you mean, but I have absolutely got
to find him! BFFL!
FORREST GUMP
Mama always said, “Life is like a box of chicken. You never
know why it’s gonna cross the road.”
BUBBA
Anyway, like I was sayin’, chicken is the fruit of the road.
You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, sauté it. There’s chicken kabobs, baked
chicken, lemon chicken, ginger chicken, chicken soup, chicken stew, chicken
salad, chicken sandwich. That’s about it.
DRAX
The chicken would not cross the road. My reflexes are too
quick. I would catch it.
WALTER WHITE
I am the one who crosses the road!
MARC ANTONY
He was an honorable chicken.
EDGAR ALLAN POE
The road was calling, cleaving, clawing and so it crossed to return
Nevermore.
JRR TOLKIEN
The chicken embarked on the journey across Middle-Road to
find the ostentatious egg from ancient lore. Pain and tears couldn’t keep the
feathered soul from its destiny. One egg to rule them all.
