Sunday, April 12, 2009

Rendering unto Caesar

Easter Sunday and I've spent the day completing our taxes. My mind is mush, but the job is done, and I feel like a monkey is off my back. I've had the information to crank out our returns for two months, but I've been avoiding them like the plague. I worked in accounting in a former life, and once a year I have unpleasant flashbacks when I do our taxes. As I was trudging downstairs to jack into the printer, I said to Bruce, "This is a day of my life I'll never get back."

I heard myself say that out loud, and it caused me to reflect. I've been making a conscious effort to be more positive lately. My family has had the misfortune to be in close contact with a very negative person recently, and I've watched the havoc he's wreaked on everyone he touches. Negativity is insidious, like a cancer. It can seep into a situation almost unnoticed, in a throwaway comment or eye-rolling gesture. One negative person can infect a whole room if allowed to persist unimpeded. I was at an event last week where the negativity exploded into a big ball of ugly. I'm still trying to spit the sour taste out of my mouth, and I was only an observer. I never want to play a part in creating that kind of bad energy, hence the effort to be more positive

To be more positive, I need to change my thinking. This is problematic because I've got a snarky streak a mile wide. As a general rule, I know the limits of appropriateness and know when to keep my mouth shut, but I'm queen of the smart-ass comment. Ask any of my friends...some of them might even tell you that's one of the things they like about me. Actually, I amuse myself with the inappropriate comments that roll through my brain, so changing my thinking is hard, but I'm trying.

Here's today's attempt...I spent a whole afternoon completing my taxes. I've rendered unto Caesar that which is his. In return for a day's effort, I have the other 364 to exercise my inalienable right to the pursuit of family, my classroom, and my manuscript.

Happy Easter.

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